311211 : THOUGHTS AT 21:32PM

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So here I am again. It’s been a while and I haven’t found myself being able to sit down and just write – but I guess it’s not because I haven’t had the time, it’s more the reason that I’ve been living the life I’ve always wanted and I haven’t wanted to think about the one that I’ve been avoiding.

The time has come for me to sit down and make the time to reflect on the year that was 2011. It seems that I’ve been living a dream since I finished my studies back in 2009.
When I finished my final year of study it was remarkable. I finished on a high, with the best marks in all my years at uni. I finished with honours (who knew) and the summer began. I gave myself the rest I thought I deserved and took it easy, and then 2010 was an amazing year. I began working as a tutor for second year architecture design studio and felt as though all my years of experience made me a better teacher. By the middle of the year, the semester had ended, the formalities of graduation went off without a hitch confirming me as a graduate and I was about to begin the working holiday of a lifetime.
I spent the next five and a half months in the united states where I spent the American summer working at Camp Burgess and Hayward, an amazing camp in the small town of Sandwich, MA and afterwards travelling with friends made at the camp, seeing sights I thought I would never have the opportunity to see.

When I arrived home in the middle of November in 2010 I found myself back in the life where I had no idea where I would go, what I would do or what my next move would be. I struggled to find work in my area of study, Architecture, and since it was so close to the end of the year I pretty much gave up and thought I’d enjoy the rest of the summer before the new year came around.

When 2011 arrived I was filled with a renewed zest for life with a clearer sense of direction. I knew that the dream was to practice architecture anywhere I could, but my heart lay in teaching. And I concocted the most basic of plans that I would somehow complete a masters or PhD and move into teaching while still working in the field on the side (with the dream of one day becoming registered still in the works).

As soon as January 2011 began it seemed the wheels were already in motion to find staff for the upcoming summer at camp, and with my poor luck at finding a job in the architecture field I decided to reapplying seeing as that wouldn’t be a bad idea I thought. I figured that even if I went away for another summer, it would be an amazing holiday again working and meeting new people as well as seeing old friends, why the hell not right?
February came quickly and with the run of no jobs in architecture I was yet to hear back from the camp as well, it was especially disheartening when I realised people were getting hired already and more so, that they were new staff members, since I was under the impression that returning staff had a looking at first. The only upside was the fact that the unit chair who I worked under for second year design at the university offered me another job tutoring for another semester, so that made me feel wonderful. I could continue my interest in teaching, still be active in the field and keep the creative juices flowing while looking for work as well. And even if I got offered a camp job, I would still be able to go since the semester ended in time for me to board a plane with plenty of time to spare.
March quickly came calling and so I began work tutoring a new group of second year students. I remember when I was a student and even then was always helping others with work, I think there was a part of me that longed to be a difference and teach, be the inspiration of motivation to see that light bulb light up for someone when they understood something.

April came, and when it rained it poured. I was fortunate enough to find a job in an architecture firm that did a wide variety of work in many sectors including residential, commercial, government and community, the problem was that at the same time I was offered a position at the camp as well. Initially gutted that I would not be hired back as a counsellor for which all the thoughts rushed to my mind thinking I must’ve been absolutely terrible and if I couldn’t be a camp counsellor what was I thinking evening considering being a teacher. Let alone returning back to camp.

The camp had hired a new director who had no idea who I was and what I was capable of and it was only on my best luck that I had a few friends who I had met and worked with the previous summer who were there working the outdoor education program from what I can tell were the sole reason for me returning and being hired in an entire new position as the wellness director. My hope of being an influence and teaching came rushing back and I was filled with an excited energy that would see me making sure not only the campers had a great time but the staff also. I could’ve done such a better job in hindsight, but there were some highlights for sure that made it in the memory book.

The dilemma that now faced me was after months of looking for work in my field and eight years of studies I had to make a decision on whether or not I would return to a camp or turn down the job and begin the journey that would be my life as an architectural graduate. My decision surprised everyone, but it didn’t surprise me, I chose the camp but the director of the firm was nice enough to allow me to begin work even though my time would be short lived and get back in touch with him upon my return.

I accepted both jobs and began right away. I started work at the architecture firm continued working at the university tutoring and began preparations for paperwork and visas for the camp. All systems ago and it was going to be an amazing year. I was going to make sure that this time I saw even more architecture than I did last time. It was just a moment of buzz, where I was on a constant high.

I quickly left for the states and began another whirlwind summer of a lifetime. Met some great new people where we became fast friends, never a surprise when you work along side each other for so many weeks, as I’ve said about the camp, it is a magical place where strangers become friends and those friends become family.

Camp went by so quickly and before I knew it I was on my way to seeing architecture by one of my favourite architects, Frank Lloyd Wright. I returned to Madison, WI and along with Kozi we saw, lived, and breathed design and architecture. She is a special girl and one I will always be indebted too for so many reasons.

After four months that sped by that included camp and travels and a whole lot of architecture I was to return for a friend’s wedding. The things I do for friends, but I did it gladly because these two mean the world to me.

After about a month of doing nothing and looking for work, I returned with the same energy I left with. I began searching out jobs in the charity, NFP and NGO sectors where I could utilise my architecture knowledge and ideals of making a difference in the world.

At the time as well the director at the architecture was nice enough to offer me my old job back for which I will be forever grateful – I have been back at work even working on a project where I am doing all the designing, so I guess that’s the upside of working for smaller firms, they throw you in the deep end as opposed to working for a big name firm where they throw you into the pit with every other graduate or worker and asked to perform like the trained student that we all were. I don’t know, I was never one for a big name firm. I guess my dreams of being that architect has changed. And it was the opportunities of tutoring and the camp that cleared the picture for me.

I worked all the way up to Christmas and am currently on my two weeks off where I’ve been relaxing and working on side projects. And this is where I find myself. That moment at the end of another year and I realise that everything I left went I went overseas is the same, and nothing has really changed except my expectations of people and life. The difference is, I don’t expect things to land in my lap and for that reason I decided to return back to camp.

I know it looks stupid and crazy but I didn’t think I’d get a second summer let alone be given a chance for a third. I know it looks like I’m avoiding life, but travelling, working, laughing, meeting and making new friends, seeing things I’ve only ever studied in books or seen on film that is living.

The only thing I’m doing is lighting my candles (a camp tradition) and thinking about all the wonderful human beings that make me the man I am today and looking forward. To the friends who accept me for the flawed individual that I am, I thank you for your never ending lessons and constant support.

To all the people who I have come into contact with, whether in real life, or just over the internet, over a blog, a tweet, a shared emotion… I thank you and hope we cross paths that allow us to meet in real life so that I may hug you and say thank you with not just the written word, but by my eyes, my heart and a high five.

I look forward to 2012 not because it is a new year, every time the sun rises we get a new day, so I’m not looking forward to the year ahead. I’m just looking forward to living tomorrow for me, while still making those I hold dear proud.

Thank you. My heart to you and yours. Love one another humanity, I still believe there is good in you.

Peace.

Sok.

271211 : THOUGHTS AT 03:30AM

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You all should be ashamed of yourselves. I have no idea how your parents raised you to be so materialistic and if they didn’t, why you base your happiness on material possessions.

You should all be grateful that you were able to have a Christmas and receive presents when others go without and don’t even have the means to. Those who go without the essentials like food, housing and education and you complain about the lack of cars, phones and gadgets.

You are so ungrateful and should have your presents taken back and the money given to charities and to those less fortunate.

I am ashamed of your lack of humanity and appalled with your profanities against those who gave you life. The fact you are basing any factor in your happiness on a product is down right stupid and I feel sorry for you for doing so.

As my friend Leah says, if Christmas to you is all about the presents regardless of religious denomination – worse if it is the denomination that is supposed to celebrate the birth of Christ (History of Christmas: (http://www.history.com/topics/christmas) and/or a pagan tradition (thanks northcareer) – then you should all shut up, re-evaluate your lives and way of thinking and go and hand your presents back to your parents, apologise for cursing them out and tell them that you love them and for raising you and for even buying you a present in the first place.

It is moments like this and individuals like these that my faith in humanity wears thin…but it is my passion and resolve that they will one day wake up and realise that they were wrong, and hopefully break this negative and materialistic cycle before they have kids of their own and educate them on the true meaning of Christmas, and to be grateful and humble…but most importantly that the greatest gift of all is not the new iPhone or iPad or even a new car, but it was the fact that you were able to spend the day with those who loved you and hold you dear in their hearts and cared for you so much, that they spent money they did/didn’t have to on a product to try and make you smile, when all they you need to do to make them smile is to say “thank you, I love you.”

251211 : THOUGHTS AT 00:00AM

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Officially Dec 25th – Christmas Day in Australia. Just another day for me. Try and think of those less fortunate, those gone, those who go without, those that don’t have the families, the friends, the food even the “presence” and those who can’t be with you on this international day that isn’t celebrated by all but…think about them as you have a blessed day.